4 Reasons Your Relationships Keep Failing.

Your intuition is the single most important tool you have in your dating adventures. Intuition, or what is sometimes referred to as your gut, is “the voice” inside that gives you that intangible information about someone and who they are. More importantly, it provides information about who you are and how you feel with that person.

Your gut communicates to you the vital information that sometimes only your subconscious self can pick up on.  This includes how emotionally and physically safe you feel with a person. Learning how to read your intuition reliably can be difficult. It’s a skill that takes practice. However, with some tuning in, you will begin making relationship decisions from a wiser place inside of you.

Attraction Ratio

This is perhaps the single biggest relationship pit-fall and it involves daters placing physical attraction (which can also include financial prowess and social stature) above how you connect to a partner on more emotional levels (which can include spirituality, values and interests).

Am I saying that you shouldn’t be physically attracted the person who lies before you? Goodness, no! However, there is somewhat of an optimal ratio associated with more satisfying relationships. Those who are more equally attracted (physically and emotionally) to his/her partner usually fair the best.

So, if you’ve been pursuing those whom you are physically attracted to, with little attention to the level of emotional attraction, perhaps you should mix it up and start searching with your heart rather than your eyes.

That Lil’ Ol’ Ex

It is completely normal for your ex to pop into your mind when an anniversary passes or you happen to pass by a place that triggers an old memory. Humans are hard-wired to recall memories when cued by your environment.

Stalking your ex on social media sites, intentionally passing by his/her home or frequently visited spots or fantasizing about what it would feel like if he/she would come waltzing back into your life, this is a whole ‘nother story entirely. If you are one foot out and one foot in a past relationship, your current relationship is doomed for failure. Building a healthy current relationship means you have put in the time and energy to move on from the past.

Old Wounds vs. New Upsets

If you’ve lived long enough you’ve probably been wounded in one way or another. Yes, even those with seemingly “normal” childhoods have wounds. Wounds are caused by hurtful, confusing and/or painful experiences in childhood or adulthood. They leave some sort of imprint on you internally. Examples of such experiences can involve losing a loved one, having difficulty with your parent’s divorce, being bullied or rejected by peers, your first major heartbreak or being cheated on. Wounds not only cause painful memories, they may alter how you move forward in your life and in your relationships.

Fast forward to your adult relationships. Ask yourself, “are there instances in which my partner said or did something relatively mild in nature, but I responded with a high level of emotion?” This may be a sign that you are responding more to an old wound rather than a new upset. If so, you will want to take a closer look at what aspects of your past may be getting in the way of your present (and future) relationships.